GUEST OF MISERY

Humans

2012-01-28T17:06:00.005+08:00

" I know, I know, I know. That there's a place for me somewhere out there. "

All we want is to feel accepted. A place where we have a sense of belongingness.
But this world is crazy. It mess with my mind every single time.

I keep remind myself to always remember, don't busy trying to be what everyone want you to be because nobody will ever be satisfied. Don't change for anyone till you can't recognize yourself.

2012-01-20T22:22:00.001+08:00

I really don't understand. Sigh.
When I ask you something, you better say the truth.
Because eventually I will find out or something will leak out from people's mouth.

I, Adelyn Tay, never once are interested in you or have feelings for you so please don't tell people YOU THINK that I like you before but DON'T DARE to accept you or shits like that. I only treat you as a good friend, a "brother".

Dude, if you want go around telling people something, I can't control but not when you're not telling the truth.

Seriously I treat you as a good friend ONCE but whatever you did ain't cool and stop thinking people have feelings for you or whatever.

2012-01-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

Truth is.
I envy people who have a best friend or a group of mates who grow up together.
Is like no matter what, they got your backs. & you got theirs.

Music

2012-01-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

Went to Simple Plan concert yesterday night. It was awesome despite the long waiting hours.
I cried when they were singing " Welcome to My Life " I was singing along with them. Memories flash back through my brain like a movie. You might think I'm crazy, too over or whatever.

Past few years was really a hard time for me. Esp from secondary 4 & 5.
We sure faced problems and feel emotional every now and then. But during that time, everyday was a torture. I was never happy. There were many problems that I don't know how to faced, don't know how to solved. From day to night, my mind never rest from worrying. No one was there. & when I say no one, I fucking mean no single soul and person. Everything crushed to me at the same time.

I lost trust, faith in people, things, and myself.
Cry in bed every night. Suicide thoughts knocking on the door.
But I still act tough on the outside. I care too much on how people see me.

I was so afraid of this & that. It seems like my guts was lost, no courage for anything.
Everywhere I go I just pluck in my earpiece, listening to songs that are like saying my stories back to me. It makes me feels like I'm not the only one out there facing all these. I find a way out from music. I get back on my feet through them. It's really yourself against the world.

It's just like a lot of people, who find a way out through arts, dancing, drawing, sports, etc. There are so many cases, so many interview where people say they thought they couldn't continue their life anymore but get back on the feet through what they like/passion/interest.

But all these hard times, makes me a stronger person. We might wondering how come we didn't know how to faced and have such bad thoughts for those problems during that time. I guess it's because we grow up, mentality and thinking changes. Just like when we were small kid, no sweets and snacks seems like the first world problem.

So for all those songs and bands who saved me. Thank you.

Simple Plan ask the fans how their songs helped them in their life.
All the responses helped them to write this song.
I guess this shows how music or a song can save someone life.

:')

2012-01-14T22:34:00.000+08:00

Exactly explain my situation.

2012-01-09T23:12:00.001+08:00

I can't wait for the long holiday to come. 4/5 more week and I'm free.
I really need a break. I'm so mentally and physically exhausted.

I want to spend time doing what I like alone.
Music, drawing, reading.
Learning new songs on guitar and keyboard.
Gonna prepare my grade test for electric guitar and hope I can get distinction for it.
Dream should never be a second place in your life.

Lastly, I want to spend time finding back me...

His sparkling eyes

2012-01-05T22:41:00.000+08:00

Recently I have read finish a book and there's this sentence that goes like this,

when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

After I read the sentence, I stopped reading and started giving thoughts about it. Thinking back it kind of amazed me that a sentence can intrigue me so much. I didn't constantly remind myself about the quote but this quote just come straight to my brain for something that happened on Tuesday and today.

It shocked me. I swear.

& now I'm totally believing in it.

Before that sentence appears in the page, the old king was saying about omens. That God are constantly giving us omens that we should follow.

So if you want something very much, then prepare to achieve it with the help of the universe by thinking hard about it :) with actions.

2012-01-04T18:38:00.001+08:00

This pretty much says how I feel everyday.

Why nowadays it seems like everyone has one head but two faces ?
and sometime it's so hard to stay firm on your stand and be who you really are.

2011-12-31T04:28:00.000+08:00

It's the last day of 2011 !

Anyway I'm really depress that my hard-disk crash ! Which means all my photos, songs, school work disappear. So my last day of 2011 will end with a heartache.

Let's summarize my 2011 in terms of people that I've met.

Joo Hwee

First friend that I make in Republic Polytechnic. Met her during orientation programme and didn't know we will end up being good friend ! When I just got in RP for the first few weeks, I really can't adapt the new environment and being in a place/class with no one I'm familiar with. I'm the type of person who's afraid of changes. & this girl always listen to me rant after school, I swear it's every fucking single day. I really appreciate that !

We used to meet everyday after school during semester 1 as she know that I still haven't adapt the people I met in RP. Even though we hardly meet now but we still make times for each other ♥

My W47P :D

For the first few weeks, I don't really talk to them. It's like I'm quiet and I don't know what the fuck to say to them HAHA ! But after spending more times with them, they turn out to be a bunch of fun people :)

Amanda ! My xiao mei mei haha !

The people whom I always hang out with ! MY GUAI LAN KIAS. HAHA.

Felicia, Isabella the tiongxim ah lian, AH PUNG, Annabelle ♥

MY GIGI ! A smart ass.

Actually I quite touched that time when she write my name on her "Dream Team" reflection for Science module. When we got in the same group and she told me I was like " MAI LIE LA " because my Science sucks like hell. & she showed me that RJ ! :'(

Video that I made for this class when we're leaving for semester 2.

My girls from semester 2 class.

Chloe, Sandy, Kady, Hui Ping, Janis, Evan !!

Always feel so old when with them cause all 17 years old !
Except Sandy, old with me HAHA.

Can RP stop changing class every 6 months ?!

Hui Xin !

Know her through Jammerz Arena ! But we both quitted already. LOL.
Go out with her cfm is shopping till I broke !

Concert kaki !

Get to know Cindy and Rene from outside through Jaslyn whom I met in Jammerz Arena !

Looking back actually I get to know a lot of people after I got in RP.

There's a number people I didn't include in this post because I'm kind of tired already *sorry*

But nevertheless I'm glad I met them and they sure have put smiles on my face now and then ♥

LASTLY HOPE 2012 WILL BE A GOOD YEAR AND MAYBE MIRACLE LIKE MY HARD DISK CAN WORK AGAIN WILL HAPPEN.

#np You Found Me

2011-12-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

Maybe I ask too much in a friendship.
Maybe I'm tired of being there for people who won't be there for me.

I know, I'm not there for my good friends all the time but I think back, I did what I can when they asked, when I feel that I have a need to give a text, to give a call, to quietly sit beside them and give comment if they asked.

But what I got back?
I never think about getting anything back in return but it just suddenly struck me...why I have to be taken for granted ? Or seeing them giving more care to people who apparently doesn't give a fuck about them ?

It kind of make me sick.

2011-12-21T00:52:00.002+08:00

& I'm changing.
This burn mark will never go away but it's a wake up call I've desire.

Somehow to me,
Christmas = Coke,
Coke = Christmas.

Darth Vader to the rescue ?
Whose team are you in ?

I won't hold on to people who started giving me up.

YTF

2011-12-18T22:37:00.001+08:00

I LIKE YTF ! A group of talented famous youtube users :)

They are like damn funny and talented.
Wish I have a group of good friends like this. Playing around and do music.

& my favorite is nigahiga ! <3

They are damn random and freestyle in whatever they do but the video and performance is still damn good !

The whole group

Check out their individual youtube account ! Some mostly do music covers and some do those random & funny videos. It will sure make your day !!

2011-12-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

I think I really don't know how to cherish that important someone at that point of time. I still remember many incident when I choose my friends over him. And all the things he do I just take it for granted.

Now looking back, I seems to let all the good guy pass me by.

But no, I'm definitely not that type of girls who must rely on someone. Just don't really believe in love.

2011-12-07T12:07:00.001+08:00

Maybe I was never the best no matter how hard I tried and put my effort in doing something.
No, I will never be the best.

It's like you tried so hard every single time but all the people are just so good at denying your effort, no matter what we do in our life, we always want other people acknowledgment of our effort, our hard work, appreciate us. I gave my best but it was never enough. Why is life getting harder as we grow up...why am I crying as I typing...

2011-12-06T13:07:00.001+08:00

The more new people I met, the more friends I've make. The more people surround me, the more lonely and alone I am.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Here I go again

2011-11-23T00:26:00.001+08:00

The hollow feeling when you know you're there for your friends when they needed you but they couldn't do the same and you are just left aside thinking do you really mean something in someone else's eyes.

Sometimes I blame myself for expecting too much from other people and myself when I know all I get will be disappointment. Like what the others said " The bigger the expectation, the bigger the disappointment will be. " But humans just can't stop expecting things, isn't it ?

Laughing in the day and thinking too much during the night. Life of a joker. People always think that those who always joke around won't be emotional, even if they do, they can handle it.
NO.

People always think they can joke with you till they think they don't have to give you the basic respect because " YOU CAN TAKE IT, YOU CAN PLAY "
Seriously ?
Even a sentence of expression of my misery on Twitter, people thought I'm playing and gave me some fucktard replies.

I hope the tables turn.

Escape

2011-11-19T20:30:00.001+08:00

Went to Good Charlotte concert ytd after school and stay at Hard Rock Hotel after the gig ! It was an awesome day despite having school and facing some things that upsets me during school time. The whole day my mind was just about Good Charlotte and it definitely cheers me up alil. (Fangirl much)

Cabbed to Sentosa to meet the girls. Thanks to them queuing there since the morning, I've got a clear view of the band members as we're at the front row. I was the first person who stepped inside the concert place haha.

The opening band for the concert. They're a Filipino band and I swear they sound real good ! When the vocalist sing, you can see from his face that he sing it with a lots of emotion and passion. The 2 guitarist were damn high. Love the chemistry they have ! Can see that they really enjoy what they are doing as they are always smiling to themselves ! Haha.

Fuck yeah, girl bass guitarist :) She was damn good !

Billy Martin !<3

Best shot I got. It's really damn hard to take a clear and good photo during a free standing band concert. Fall in love with him when I first saw their photo during primary school ! He changed his style, well, I guess because they are getting older, thick eyeliner and emo fringe is a no no to him already. Haha. Random, he has be with his girl for 9 years already !

The Madden twins.

I swear Joel was damn sweet, he look at me super long ! He spend time taking a good look at everyone and make eye contact. It's like he is singing to you ! Swaggness overload = Joel Madden.
He say lots of stuff too, like they can stand on this stage again and continue doing music is because our support for them through all these years. And lesser people are appreciating the true music ! <3
He say he love girls who go to shows. HAHA, damn cute. Aiya he said damn lots of thing :)

I got to touch Joel Madden hands twice. 2 big blue black on my knee. Jesslyn, Cindy and Rene managed to carry me over the barrier after the concert to pick up the guitar pick that Benji threw to us. Because the stage was a small distance to the barrier so it dropped near their stage instead. Get up to the stage and got Benji towel.

OKAY. I KNOW I SOUND LIKE SOME CRAZY FANGIRL. I'M NOT.
I just really want the guitar pick. Then they were like "ADELYN THE TOWELLL " Haha. I hesistate to get up the stage as the guard was chasing people down. (Yes, I'm not the only & first one to jump over.)

They sound really good in live. I'm addicted to their Keep Your Hands Off My Girl currently, their old album song. But it sounded so good in live that I'm back to it.

Hard Rock Hotel stay experience in next post (maybe).

I do write this post for a reason.

2011-11-18T02:04:00.001+08:00

Well, I don’t know how I should start writing but this is really getting on my nerve.

I think that some people try too hard to impress or trying to attract someone that they like by doing and writing things that the other party love but it get kinds of fake because obviously they aren’t someone who like all those things when you started knowing them. Yes, interests do change and you tend to pick up more things you like in life but well…it just looks and feels fake if you are not that type of person who like and have interest in those things ! And it’s irritating and annoying. Very much.

Even for the things they dislike.

Writing things that what the person has written before doesn’t make the person think that you two is having some kind of “great minds think alike” or making the person feel that both of you have the same thinking and feelings towards the same thing. Everyone think differently and I agree people will have the same thinking but purposely doing those stuff just puts people off.

2011-11-10T21:29:00.001+08:00

Forever is a stupid word.
Only people who is naive will believe it and give it a meaning.

Going crazy or coming to senses

2011-10-20T22:37:00.002+08:00

After I got in RP, I've been thinking a lot on what I want to do in the future.
When I was younger all I know is that I want to be a boss who earns lots of money. When I get in secondary school I still want to be a boss or maybe get a high position in a company who do big business.

Because of my events management course, I've been in touch with number figures a lot. Accounting and Business Statics killed me 2 times every week. & the other modules just keep me wondering why am I sitting down learning something I not even interested in.

I don't mean that studies is a waste of time but I think getting in a polytechnic, you should learn what you really want and interested. Primary and secondary school and teaching you the basic and I always believe education make you more mature in thinking (maybe not for some :/)

This might sound crazy but my passion for electric guitar is getting stronger each day. I want to take up music course, go to an overseas university that is famous for their music course. & my future work field will be something about music or probably media.

I only get to live my life once, should I take a risk and fight for my dream or sitting down doing something I don't even like for the rest of my life...

Brutal Truth

2011-10-19T22:19:00.003+08:00

When you are happy and fooling around, being one of the jokers that crack everyone up, people just stick to you and stay close to you. But when one day you sit at a corner, looking sad and just don't feel like entertaining everyone, all they will do is ask what happen and never care about you anymore. Just one day of feeling sad and being emotional at a corner you will able to see who's your real friend and who is not.

Sometimes all I ~~want~~ need is a tap at the shoulder, tell me that everything gonna be all right and quietly sit beside me.

2011-09-15T04:00:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I really wonder am I a failure on being someone good friend, my parents good daughter ? I ask myself am I being honest when I say I tried all my best to meet the expectation people have for me.

I'm sick of all those shits that's been happening lately. Tired of able to see or found out the real truth of things. But come to think of it, since when I'm not sick & tired of my life.

I just don't feel like talking, like really keeping quiet even that means the people beside me will feel like I'm some kind of freak, I don't wanna care.

So much stuff running through my head. All these thoughts creep inside my head without me realizing. But it's weird because if you ask me what happen, I will definitely be out of words.

I think I will never be good enough for anyone even for myself.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Endless Cold

2011-09-10T03:40:00.001+08:00

In this another sleepless night, the sad rhythm and the loud beat, I know the lyrics will fit perfectly.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Changes

2011-09-08T02:48:00.002+08:00

It's not the first time, the thought of leaving everything here behind and go to a new place, making changes about my life, went acoss my mind. But it will always be a thought.

Is it time for a change ? I've always been scared to try. No denial because if this is a fight, I'm not sure I'm ready.

First Week

2011-09-05T22:24:00.003+08:00

Seoul Garden after such a long time with Elin.

Ah xin, my stic ! from SARCASTIC ❤

Live so near with your friend that you can go over, have a Pastamania delivery dinner with Supernatural drama that you didn't notice that time can pass so fast.

Mr. Curry

First time got catch something on the first try !

Gig by AOR at Esplanade !&lt;3
My guitar teacher ! The one playing guitar at the furthest right.

If only everyday got awesome gig like this at night ! I want live in countries where there are always band performing at underground places !

Busy Holiday

2011-08-29T23:07:00.012+08:00

& the long awaited holiday is here :)

For this holiday, I want to keep a "Photo blog". Which is like posting few photos of what I did during the holiday since nowadays I don't blog about my life like when I first started blogging which is during Secondary 1 ! Time flies man, well anyway, might be inactive in some social networking sites but neh...I wonder who will still come this dead space.

So, tata check out here if you're interested in my life. (which I doubt anyone will)
Man, I'm lifeless.

My first try on prawning;

Guitar with friend the whole day;

Love the effects <3

todayyy;

Generous lunch treat from Ken at NYDC restaurant.

Adore this girl, always fight to pay the bill because we can hardly meet each other and always want to buy the things as a gift to me when I saw something that I like (but I always NOOOO heh) Our next meet up will be during December or maybe next year D:

3 days gone.
& I want the latest 2009 Creepy comic that can be found on the shop beside Bugis Kinokuniya. (Obvious hinting) HAHAHA.

2011-08-05T22:26:00.003+08:00

I don't know what to trust or who to trust anymore.
To me, words have become some fucking tool.

STOP FUCKING MESSING WITH MY MIND.

Please.

Truth

2011-07-24T00:47:00.003+08:00

" Does it depress you...to know just how lonely you are ? "
- Joker from Batman

Oh, it sure depress me. Always and deeply.
Just like how love is such a powerful thing,
loneliness is also such a powerful thing that everybody deny, it either make you stronger or destroy you...well, it's devouring my soul.

Fragile

2011-07-21T11:52:00.003+08:00

People always say everyone has something they are good at. I always disagree because no matter what I do, there are always people do it better than me...

Maybe...I found mine already...
I can laugh my ass off, play any motherfucking games, joke around like nothing matters while my heart is the total opposite of what my expression display. I feel lonely, so so so empty and hallow.

Is this surface acting ? A talent that no one appreciate, no one cares and definitely not something worth to pen it down.

Never assume someone emotion by judging the expression on their face because I only show you what I want to...if only you use your heart to feel mine then I'm putting down my weapons without me knowing...

Can I have a say too ?

2011-06-12T22:24:00.003+08:00

Mixed feeling right now. Once again.
I guess I'm just someone with really low confidence...never wanna show anyone this side of me but I think I'm constantly exposing it naturally. Just wanna feel needed like I'm up to good use, I feel that anytime, any place, at any event there's no difference when there's no presence of me.

It's tiring to convince myself how less I should care about others, it tiring to convince someone who is hurt. If only we can talk with heart maybe everything is so much easier, no lies, no words that we don't mean it and no more of "I don't know how to express how I feel" . Sometime we try to protect ourselves that we say something we don't mean it but the consequences no one know how worse it can be.

Insecurity destroy.

Summary

2011-05-21T01:04:00.007+08:00

Ever since school started, I've been very busy. Always got things to do after school which is good in a way. School is really making me exhausted because the pace of getting work done there is so fast. Anyway have been waiting for semester 2, and I found out that I'm not the only one who is hoping for the new change.

Being around in Polytechnic really constantly expose you to new people, and sometimes it shocks me all the "behind-the-scenes" stories, I've choose to stay true to myself but it just pretty scare me how many faces someone can be. Well, I guess this is how the world out there works right ? But still, I'm glad to found friends who I know will be there for me when I just barely know them for like 2 months. Sometimes things just work in a way that you'll never be able to understand.

Anyway, there's once when I was really stress about my quiz, one of my classmate came and kick start a conversation.
Just forget about it, don't do it, we have to relax.
Seriously, you're not going to do?!
Yea, we have a choice you know, happy is the most important thing !
(He always emphasize that "Happy is the most important thing.")

First thing that came to our mind might be my classmate is just someone who is irresponsible but after giving it a second thought, are we paying too much attention on what we need to do until we forget that happy is the most important thing in life ? All I know is that we only got one chance.

I'm Sick

2011-04-24T19:29:00.000+08:00

It's been quite a long time since I update this space. Basically school had started for 1 weeks and I'm a total introvert in my class but it really don't bothered me much. Trying to make the new place my comfort zone but it really gonna take a long time probably never ever. I've been so judgemental on the new people I met, this is really bad.

Sometimes I really think people are braver when they can't see things in front of them, so please put your hands over my eyes and guide me all the way through.

Lastly, I need Vodka, cigarettes, party music, and most importantly my close friends to keep me sane.

Obey Fate

2011-03-26T23:45:00.001+08:00

Walking through the underpass with many people passing by still make me feel like I'm the only one in the world. Fallen leaves from the trees are the only companion on the way back home.

Set Me Free

2011-03-23T14:48:00.000+08:00

I feel that I've lost myself again. Have been waking up feeling hollow inside. Like an empty shell. Aimless and stuck on nothing.
It's not like I will feel better after I cry, scream or talk to someone about it.
I don't even know what to say, I don't have the energy to say...I feel so tired inside out.
I have no priority, I've lost all my priorities.

And I don't know why.
It's so unbearable.

Do you lay awake to think of me ?

2011-03-18T23:39:00.006+08:00

The Man From Nowhere.
Watched it ytd with Sheng Mei and the main reason was because of WON BIN ! He's really damn cool & handsome ! He got this kind of bad-boy-charming look. HAHA.

The person playing the bad character was Kim Sung Oh !
The guy who act as a funny character in Secret Garden. Big difference lor.
I was like " OH ! The secretary. " LOL. Their acting skill is superb. *thumbs up*

The touching part. I really don't like to watch movies cut here cut there. To me is like very gross.

Went Party World after that and we sing Kpop ! Hahas.

Choose Big Bang song only.
Haru Haru is too hard ! Lies is easier (One of my favourite songs!)
We even took videos but the size is too big, take forever to upload.
Recently I really like a chinese song call 散場的擁抱 by 倪安東 but I thought his name is 安東倪 and we had a hard time searching ! HAHAS.

I think I too long never listen to Chinese songs, almost half the songs Sheng Mei was like " Eh why never sing, sing together la. " I was like " I never heard this song before " lol. But I know old songs hor ! Is new songs like kns. I even sing English song, don't know other people will mind a not because last time I choose then give all my cousin scold. They say go K must sing Chinese songs then shiok one.

Finally complete this :D
Not drawn by me but paint by me, I think I took nearly 2 months because I only paint when I didn't go out. Great sense of satisfaction.

2011-03-05T23:54:00.003+08:00

My new hair colour which I don't like it, LOL.

Catch I Am Number Four ytd, its one of the movies you have to watch ! They on the speaker so loud I got scare many times. I think for action movies, you must really watch at Cineleisure or The Cathay.

My new bookshelf and mirror :D
My mirror is turn able as it can't be place in front of the bed. Finally put all the things in place at the shelf and I throw away so many things. My bookshelf's width used to be until where my mirror is. The aftermath of the clearing is dusty floor ! So I sweep, mop and even change the bed sheet. A person who don't do housework did all that. I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF ! Lol. Mummy is still at Malaysia, I really miss her )':

Anyway, finally had my electric guitar lesson at the new school and it was AWESOME ! Love the staff there. Because of N & O level I've stopped learning and well, also I want to change to a new place. Doing back what I love the most feels really great and alive. Had to prepare a new song next lesson, haven't decide which song yet but I wanna choose a song that is close to what I feel nowadays...just hope it turns out well.

" You let go of our love so easily
Did you ever think that someone would get worried ?
I don't think you know yet, exactly just what you let go of
Just remain there and watch me grow
Erased, disappeared, you've burned to death in my heart. "

Boredom strucks

2011-02-28T00:52:00.003+08:00

Finally got this baby ! Actually I got it few days back, had a hard time finding as I'm wearing size 4 and I want to thanks the sales girl for her kindness. Finally fulfilled the first 2 from my "Shoes Wish List" :DD

In love with my new comb ! The colour and the fragrance from the comb was the natural ingredients from the flowers. The box contain a card by the maker saying he/she pledge to grow at least a tree within a year as a return to the nature. Love the shop design as well.

Just finished a book and I think I want to make an effort by thanking the author every time I finished reading their book.

Anyway I realised many books I've read or true stories about people the author know is about how they fall from the best jobs, best salary, best life to anything they've never imagined their life would be. And of course it always end with happy ending. So does that mean people who get into great company and top position will most likely end up unhappy with their life ? This is something I've been thinking for the past few days and will probably keep going on.

The real lesson we learn and remember for life is the one we experience itself. The fall that make invisible scars from head to toes. Just 17, still have many mistakes to make to truly understand life.

Something New

2011-02-20T18:13:00.002+08:00

Just changed my blog background colour and add a photo of me at the top. Tee-hee.
The photo size was a bit wrong it was supposed to be those kind with width longer and height shorter. But still nice right ?! HAHAHA. What's wrong with me today ? Tsktsk.

Anyway should I change my URL ? Misery Guest sound so "act emo kid nowadays". Last time put it because I was playing a band game at PSP and I name my band as Misery Guest, SUPER COOL for a band name but not blog URL I guess.

Definition of Misery Guest (by ATJY):
Everyone are guest of misery. Misery play with our heart, mess up our emotions and we can't leave until it send us off from his house.

So every "fans" for my "band" are the guest. They listen because only our lyrics can relate to their feeling and the only thing that understand them.

Ok, done for explaining.
So yes or no ?

Everyone deserve to be happy

2011-02-17T15:12:00.004+08:00

" Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising. "

Thoughts of childhood

2011-02-15T00:35:00.003+08:00

The recent trip to Malaysia made me realised that a lot of things have change.
The 1 week there was actually quite tormenting as I keep thinking about the past whenever I pass by a place which I know I will never get back the fun and happiness.

Last time my family used to reach Malaysia at night and all my aunt and cousins will be waiting for us at grandparent house. I used to hang out with this group of cousins and we will start updating about each other life. As far as I can recall, laughter always end at the time when we were in bed. Ghost stories under the blanket in a hot afternoon and sitting in a circle playing games, running around and laughing at people who fell down. Squeeze inside a room together for a nap. We even intend to pray to god and drink the water mix with our blood but was stopped by our mother. Now all we left was "Hi" and a smile while I hardly see them.

No more running out of the house when the ice-cream bicycle music was heard and asking whose mother are paying for them. We used to get scolded when bits of ice-cream drop on the floor and we will make funny faces behind those adults. And now, we will only continue sitting on the floor, staring at the TV when that music was heard.

I used to be very close with this cousin who is the same age as me. We spend almost every second together. Late night talks and TV, I always wake her up when she's falling alseep before me. Begging mummy for money to go house shop to buy sweets, gossiping behind those adults, sit at other people house swing and had a h2h talk. Always wishing we could stay in the same country. But I think there was 2 years I didn't went back and things just get awkward between us as we grow older so those tradition between us disappear.

No more going great-grandmother house and help her fold joss paper. No more waking up at 7am for wet market. No more snatching snacks and making younger cousins cry. No more Monopoly and UNO Stacko. Electricity box with our graffiet and sticker got repaint. House shop only left 2 box of sweet for us to choose from. The only constant is change.

So is these call the childhood that our parents always tell us to cherish when they walk past us and say that all these will change ? Adults always ask what happen when we don't talk to each other now and the most upsetting part is nothing has happen for all these distant.

Now I know this is what I lost when we always say we want to become adult faster, want to work, earn money and go wherever we want. We are reaching to the part of our dream now but those plans had faded.

I lost those fun and happiness.
I lost them.
And 1 thing I want to change from those memories is I'm not going to make that wish.

2011-01-29T03:10:00.004+08:00

It always feel great to hear from a long lost friend, no matter it is through which way. We may not see each other or catch up in years but a letter, a message or simply saw each other on the road and kick up a conversations like it's not gonna end forever, still make us feel connected. These are the people who are the prove that there was someone who stood by you when other "friends" walk away and let you crush.

But people grow close and definitely grow apart. Not because we don't want each other to be in our life it's just that everyone have their own path to walk and not many can walk together till the end.

Toast to the few friends who had opened my eyes for the true meaning of friendship.

JAE Result

2011-01-26T22:33:00.005+08:00

Gotten into my 11th choice course. Basically I spent 4 days on choosing the course and discussing with my dad so end up in any one will be perfectly fine for me. But I'm still kinda sad I get into RP. Not really a new environment for me I guess. Not fresh start hahas. Last important factor, totally don't like their teaching style.

I've always aiming for business course at NP and I know with my result of 20 points it's already for sure no chance but I still got put in my choice though. Not many course intrigue me. The weird thing is in my 8th choice I put Motion Graphic & Broadcast Design and I have been somehow praying in my heart all these days to get in that course ! Lol. Either Business or Design but I end up in management now, duh...quite sad.

I really like Motion Graphic & Broadcast Design leh ! and Banking & Financial Services, that one poly grads earn the highest among other business course.

Btw when I recieved it I haven't sleep ! Phone was in silence mode. So I should already know the answer but I was lying on my bed doing nothing lol.

Books

2011-01-19T23:02:00.004+08:00

Went Borders and Kinokuniya today. Basically I don't like going other bookstores to buy books other than Kinokuniya. But I saw a lot of comments on the web that Kinokuniya books are way too expensive compared to other bookstores so went Borders to check it out. The result is no much difference hahas.
And I like the atmosphere at Kinokuniya (the main store) more ! :D
Actually the cheapest is at Popular la if I'm not wrong.

Finally bought Moleskine notebook which will be the notebook that I write down my thoughts/reflection after reading a book or saw something that inspire me which I mention at much earlier post. Anyway bought a Chinese book as you can see in the photo. Haha, can't believe I really bought it but hmm quite worth it actually.

Now I have 3 books haven't read, 2 books haven't read finish and I still have 2 books I want to buy :/ One of it is today saw one, search until very xin ku can because I saw the Chinese edition at the Chinese section (The author is ang mo that's why I'm sure got English edition). End up never buy because I can't see the content and I only know it is written by a billionaire investor's son, quite pricey also. And the book is hidden behind many books :/ Lol. & I don't know why the books I search always end up at the self-improvement section -.-

I can't believe I written so much for this topic.

--

Anyway I have a post during August about retaking my Chinese and some people are making comments about it. Like CONSTANTLY reminding me I'm STUPID because it will affect my other grades, I simply can't get an A1 or I'm just trying to show off ? Like seriously, you think I give a fuck about impressing you guys ?
I don't give a fucking hell when I set my foot on this school. I told people who supported me that I just don't want to let go a chance that was place right in front of me and I know that the spare lesson are not going to help anyway. And now, I got the result I want for Chinese and those people who make those FUCKING comments result are worse than mine. Those spare lesson really do help huh ? Fuck you in your face for looking down on me, see how much capability you have before making comments about people decision. Can't even handle your own fucking things.

I

2011-01-13T21:15:00.006+08:00

Talk to the wall
Talk to the ceiling
Talk to the floor
Talk to the food
Talk to the book
Talk to the result slip
Talk to the options
Talk to my toys
Talk to my guitar
Talk to the computer
Talk to my nails
Talk to the air

I talk to my heart
I talk to myself

Result with 2 digit but first number is 2.
Worse failure ever...

& I finally found out that I'm actually talking to God.
Because I know only he listen, only he knows.
Heart to heart with no comfort words return because that is the last thing I want to hear.

For you, don't doubt.

2011-01-08T21:30:00.007+08:00

You are like the water in my palm
always there, but drip out of my hand sometimes
never clutch it tight afraid it will be clean dry
but never thought it will cause you to slip away
and there you go, slip through my fingers
watching you...slip it all away.
Leaving droplets of water I call it memories.

I'm someone who listen to my brain more than my heart.
Or well should I say everytime ?
Some one who think of the ending before making a decision.
Others say this kind of person are being logical & smart at plan while some say this kind of person tend to lose more things.

But water...evaporate eventually.

Evaporate
–verb (used without object)
1. to change from a liquid or solid state into vapor; pass off in vapor.
2. to disappear; vanish; fade.

You always say I don't write about you.

This time for you, don't doubt.

But I know you don't need it anymore.

CRY

2011-01-06T15:24:00.002+08:00

" You make me cry
The reason I live, please don't leave me. "

MBLAQ finally back :D
Lee Joon ♥♥ but Thunder look really hot during the raining scene.
Love the lyrics of this song.

Going out now.

2011-01-03T23:45:00.006+08:00

Last Day Of 2010

Went to watch Gulliver's Travels and have our supper at Hong Kong Cafe.

Lazy upload liao hah, anyway that night was really fun :DD

Cute ~ haha. Just watch finish Sungkyunkwan Scandal. Super nice & funny !
I normally don't watch drama in historical version. Song Joong-ki ♥ (First from left)

Anyway the third from right is Mickey (Yoochun) !
TVXQ member or should I say is JYJ member ):
I still remember I start listening to Kpop during Primary because of my cousin, they always sent us through MSN, LOL. That time only listen to TVXQ & Shinhwa songs. Shinhwa now sound very old school to me lol.

Song in the album of Mirotic, which is 3 years ago. Hope they get back again ):

" So don't call me no more. "

Random Update

2010-12-28T23:50:00.002+08:00

Recieved this from my grandma. She bought it from Japan Disneyland.

Super nice ! I thought it would tast normal at first.

Coincidently, my cousin went Hong Kong Disneyland and bought this for me as Christmas present.

& another 2 Chistmas present that I recieved which is actually a pencil case and chocolate.

Very sweet of these people <3
Maybe next year can have gift exchange, really felt great and happy when recieved it. Spend christmas at Ikea, shall have a fun event next year (:

Bro birthday cake. Pretty.

Curry rice once again, super nice ! I think I did a tutorial post on curry rice starting of the year or what, wtf. Lol.

I won't cry like I should.

Merry Chistmas

2010-12-25T04:03:00.001+08:00

" Among many people, I look at their happy faces
Smiling for a long time, I turn around lonely in the end. "

2AM + (2PM + Leader Jae) = ONEDAY = ♥

Come to me

2010-12-19T15:48:00.005+08:00

This post will be about the things I want to buy lately. Most of them is footwear. I'm quite crazy over sneakers nowadays, idk why ! Last time I really don't understand ppl who keeps on buy shoes or woman saying high heels is their best friend. I don't even go in footwear shops one lor. But now, head over heels for them ;x

#1 Dr.Martens

COOL TTM !
I want red colour at first but I think I don't dare wear out and after keep browsing the image I think black more chio ! I remember showing someone this picture and she say it looks like fishmonger wear one :/ NOOOO.
Anyway mum promise to buy for me :D

#2 Converse classic sneakers

OR

Which one & which colour ?! Feel like getting both -.-
Red or black ? I can't decide...maybe red ?
Or white ? LOL. I think no, I have been wearing white shoes for 11 years, enough.
Gonna get this on my own :D

#3 Vans Sneakers

Actually I haven't decide which deisgn to buy. I probably will go to the shop and choose when I finally decide to buy their sneakers. A hot pink actually caught my eyes.

#4 Nike trainers

Hmm, I feel like having one but not in a rush to make it mine. Probably next year when I don't have the urge to buy anything and just nice have $200 in my pocket LOL.
But I like those with super wild colours one, chio !
I think more ppl who dance or skate buy them.

#5 Oxford heels & Oxford flats

Lazy to search photos liao !

Dad bought me my 2nd Levis jeans :D
Love their jeans because its super comfy ~
When they were measuring how long they have to alter for me, my mum was like staring at me with weird expression and I was like " What ?...WHAT ? "
She replied " I didn't know you legs was so short. " BAH MY GOODNESS !
I think I going to buy one of their long sleeve top not bad leh hah, I'm kind of in love with long sleeve tops now.

Super love my baseball jacket ! Got my A somemore ;x
I think I bought it around May.
But Singapore weather is too hot to wear ):
Really wish Singapore is a cold country, I don't like sunlight.

OH ! Anyway lastly is

#6 Lamborghini

DREAM CAR ! BMW also can.
I'm going to buy sports car for sure !
One of the things I want to achieve before I turn 30 (:

Actually what I want is an endless list. Hah

" Money, money, money, must be funny in the rich man's world. "
Me and my brother always sing this sentence, lol. But I just realise we sing wrong !Our version is " Money, money, money, it's so funny in the rich man's world. "
We really hope we can be rich untill one day money really seem funny to us.
Anyway went to see this song video just now, look scary to me o.o

Off day

2010-12-13T22:19:00.005+08:00

After working for 3 days, I've decided to resign. Really find that job time-wasting, sit down there for 9 hours, doing nothing. I rather they tell me carry this & that. But I've agreed to helped them for 2 more days. So please don't defined me as someone who is irresponsible or don't take work seriously.

So basically when I work I can do anything I like to kill times so I brought books there. Sometimes when I read something that touched me, my eyes just got watery and when people came they will like " You crying ? " :/ Ah seriously, embarrassing.

But this actually make me realised something.
Words are so amazing. A good book have the effect of making people cry & laugh, stir up your emotion or make you think of a memory. Is just as good as a movie, sometimes even better. Don't you ever came upon a comment for a new movie that say " The book is so much better. " Hmm...I think I have a new respect for author that write good books.

Anyway when I was working ytd, I saw Mr.Lau & Shane ! Its really nice to see and have a lil catch up with them. Maybe graduate already, the way we chat was really like friend haha.

Had been watching Secret Garden & Mary Stayed Out All Night lately. Both introduced by my cousin. Korea are really good at making love and family drama. The MSOAN, the girl should totally be with 2nd male lead. First time huh, support 2nd male lead. Hah

In Secret Garden, the male lead has a reading room and the bookshelf was like 2 storey high. Have a moveble ladder ! Just like Kinokuniya lorr, I WANT ! I swear I will earn alot of money to make this room then I can play guitar there as well. Sigh...don't know how long will I take.

Chinese poetry book next ?

Woah, wordy post.

READ IT.

2010-12-09T00:51:00.006+08:00

Its been a long time since I have a proper post. Most of the time just a picture, phrases or lyrics which I liked or something that I can relate to it well.

I want to start buying Reader's Digest, maybe 1 every few months ?
I used to read only the jokes section when I was in primary school. And I want to get myself a notebook where I can write my reflection after I read an article or a book. A notebook where I can write down all my feelings after I saw a picture, phrases or anything that inspire me. Hmm...I really like this idea.
Shall be my first step to be a better person (:

Adelyn's bag will always include a planner & a small notebook from now on. Hah

Meet up with Ken Yin today.

My face has officially get bigger because I've eating non-stop. This is so bad.

I'm super in love with the packaging, so beautiful ! I swear I will go back to the shop again, their snack is all from Japan and look so pretty that you can't bear to eat.

This potato salad is to die for ! Yes, my favourite salad is potato salad ;D

Her treat today ! Kamsahamnida ~
I promise to treat her ice cream as I've found a super nice shop. But I think I will bring her to a new yogurt shop that I pass by today. The shop appear in " Mary Stayed Out All Night " (korea drama) Not very sure la but the idea of the shop is the same. Anyway had buffet at Vienna with my cousin as dinner.

Opps, sorry. I'm a narcissist !

M'sia Trip
Basically all photos is taken by my mum's phone. Didn't brought bag there so it was really a hassle to hold the camera in hand when I'm going out.

Dragon-I ;

Too fast, LOL.

SO WE SMILE ;D
Even the guy behind them is smiling.

Xiao Long Bao, MY LOVE !

We order more than that but I was enjoying the food.
I was so full but I still go get myself

BASKIN ROBBINS !

Before :
" Oh, I'm going to taste the flavour of the month, envy me. "

After :
" WTF IS THIS ? Why it taste so bad ?! "

Chilis ;

NICE !

Korea Cusine ;

Its open by korean people. The best korea cusine I ate so far.

Ahjumma helping us

Relatives brought us to many special places to eat too. Super full everytime !
The food there is really heavenly ;x
I remember 1 place where we eat is the fish swim underneath us.
Ok, idk how to describe.

So cute ~

Omg, it took me more than 2 hrs to blog this. I haven't even upload my zi lian photos taken at Msia. LOL. Tired already.
Going for interview later in the afternoon, intro by friend. I guess I won't go find job if no one ask me, I actually enjoy this holiday very much .___.
I guess I will save the money to buy a DSLR and my dad agree to transfer me to another place to learn electric guitar. AWESOME.

Labels

2010-12-07T13:06:00.004+08:00

Yea.
Why do we have to put labels on everyone and everything ?
When people talk behind our back we will always say
" Why can't they mind their own business ? "
But we are constantly talking, commenting, gossiping about other people's shit life too.

" Do what you like cause its your life. "
I swear I saw something similar everywhere and heard from almost everyone before. But I still feel that we always do what people expect us to do or fear to do things that we like because of the LABELS people will put on us.

Don't dare to be best friends with the left out kids, don't dare to stand up for someone when everyone are against him/her. Don't dare to admit you kind of like or enjoy being with the "weird" ~~friends~~ people. Don't dare, don't dare, don't dare.

Don't deny that you judge people every now & then.

Anyway on a side note, this picture & few sentence makes me think a lot. Amazing.

2010-11-26T21:17:00.007+08:00

" Wanna love you, I wanna hold you only in my drunken confession
'I Love You' this short phrase is too much for me, I cannot breathe
Fearing you will know when our eyes meet
My eyes tell you truth, I wanna live in your life. "

♥

OMG !

2010-11-24T18:28:00.009+08:00

I was looking at some other people's blog and I saw someone blog about this website, http://en.akinator.com/.

It was about you have one person in your mind, answer his questions and he will guess the person you have in mind !

So I was thinking L.Joe from Teen Top ♥, they are still not that famous so I thought the web genius surely cannot guess one. He answer me Kevin from U-Kiss first. After I press no and answer 2 more questions he gave me the correct one !!

I wanted to screenshot it but I was in the state of " WTF ?! " and press yes eagerly so I decided to play again to get the screenshot. The second time I play, it first guess is L.Joe liao hahas.

SEE !

Handsome right, HAHA. People who follow my twitter will know that I'm into Teen Top nowadays. :D

2010-11-24T03:56:00.002+08:00

" Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya, throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya, you know I'd do anything for ya
I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya baby, but you won't do the same. "

Keep replaying and singing everywhere I go.
Have been sleeping at 7am everyday.
Seriously, I rather sleep at 10pm, makes me feel more healthy .__.

Only One Can Live

2010-11-17T22:37:00.014+08:00

& yes. I've watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
I was quite surprised S'pore get to see 2 days earlier than UK.

It was really awesome, amazing, exciting & every good words here.
Even the opening was spectacular, no doubt that there is more action this time round.
I feel like crying when it started...it really feel like HP is coming to an end.
Can't wait for part 2 but there's a part of me hopes Harry Potter series never end, sigh...
10 years already.

I still remember the first time I watch Harry Potter, I tell my m'sia cousins (because we were watching together) that I want to marry to Daniel Radcliffe. I even did my planning on how to fly to England and look for him ok ! I was very serious that time. Of course they laugh and tell me its impossible. Ended up crying alone in the kitchen. I have a file that collect Harry Potter articles, still have it now on my bookshelf but of course this "hobby" lasted not long hah.

There's many more nice video tribute to HP in youtube.
Like what they say,
" This is the end of an era " &
" But sure, Harry Potter is just a film, for some. For others, it's so much more. "
Can't agree more.

Nothing can explain my feelings right now.
An emptiness really gripped my heart...

" Harry Potter is the kind of timeless literary achievement that comes around once in a lifetime. "
- Warner Bros

♥♥

2010-11-16T02:41:00.005+08:00

Awww ~ seriously will go weak when guys wear black suit, black suit trouser, white button-up shirt and slim black tie. I know I have say for a million times in my blog.
Actually as long as it is formal that look nice but idk why many people wear formal and it really sucks like hell hahas.

Wanted to find a photo of Nickhun hair dye blonde but this is the nicest I now can find :/ NICE RIGHT ? Omg, he should not dye other colour so fast ):

Will get back soon.

Just 1 more week

2010-11-07T16:13:00.002+08:00

1993

2010-11-06T22:13:00.003+08:00

HAHA, this is so true man ! Awesome 90's.

Anyway Interview With The Vampire was one of the best movie I've watched maybe can get its novel after O. Another old vampire novel will be on my shelf ! ;D

I should know this was coming

2010-11-01T16:21:00.004+08:00

I'm sick of feeling like this every time after a paper.
Today was the worst.
And on the path back home, can't hold back anymore.

Disappoint them was not what I plan...
& I was going to prove to those people who look down on me.
I place my expectation so high that now I'm going to taste the feeling of falling hard on the ground.

FUCK YOU ADELYN !

~~" I own the paper. "~~ Never gonna have the chance to say.

A harsh world

2010-10-21T23:54:00.006+08:00

" We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist. "
- Queen Victoria
Today was the day when feeling of giving up is so much higher than any feelings.
After flood of water went by I fly my hand up high and swear,
that I'm gonna use whatever time left to me and use it wisely.

I fear that one day I do not trust, no longer give faith and can't love with a fire in the heart. Because people who I've put trust and faith on seem to trample them on the ground. It slowly appears to me that maybe all those just doesn't mean a thing...
No more expectation, can't handle anymore disappointment.

2010-10-14T18:16:00.006+08:00

And now I've build a house to bury you.

Oppa I, doesn't like bad girls

2010-10-09T22:26:00.002+08:00

" Throw away that useless love, throw away your useless words. "

I have a thing about guys who wear suit, haha.
Slim black tie and slim black suit. <3 mygoodness ~

Had this after Subway ;D

I'm Sinking (My Toxic Thoughts)

2010-10-03T00:18:00.011+08:00

" God bless us everyone, we're broken people living under loaded gun. "

Is standing up again just to prepare for another fall ?
Answer known.

Do you remember the time when a true friend came free ?
Don't have to buy it with lies and truth.
Or anything else.
I do see people try so hard to gain friend that don't fit in their world.
You don't have to live so hard to find people that just doesn't know how to appreciate you.

She hold my hand from behind and say she want to be my friend, best friend.
State the reason and hope I feel the same way for her.
My first impression of her - Weird but sweet.
In the end, she turn out to be the one that hurt me most badly.
I was young. Too trusting. A mistake.

Now, even though still consider young.
Still make the same mistake.
Too trusting.

Don't say it so easily infront of me. Seriously no sense of guilty ?
Don't you see that everything you've once done has come right back at you. (Not referring her I've mention earlier.)
And I'm glad it hit you hard because no matter what it mean so little compared to what I've endure and suffer. Whenever I think back, I felt myself being so stupid.

Last Week, his ORD.

2010-09-25T22:30:00.007+08:00

My brother ! Very proud of him ;D

Spot my brother

Change into the new one

This year school trip went to discovery center, didn't know that my brother was of them who need to run this tower. (: Or all NS man also need to run ? Not very sure.

Was invited to their dinner after that and was surprised because most of them look really handsome ;X Anyway mum couldn't make it and last time during his POP also ! Hope she can attend the next one. Guess he was alil disappointed.

Don't understand people who don't want to do well for their NS and slack or try to pretend to sick all the time. There's no choice right so why not do your best for the 2 years instead of wasting all your time doing those super slack things, no offence though.

Words

2010-09-23T23:56:00.004+08:00

I get to talk to someone about life involving studies today.
I actually enjoyed talking and listening to people about life and etc. And of course I will be more comfortable if that person listen to me too (:

We talk about this stranger who he met during an job interview. He study 8 years in primary school, got into normal stream later and successfully got into a 4 years engineering course in poly. But he quit during his third year of a very simple reason, he don't like it. Thats when our judging comes in. He went into an Art course later but during his second year he went for pilot training, failed the test, went back to his course and finally graduate from Uni when he was around 30.

This story is not about telling us to not make the same mistake as he did but do what you like and enjoy as long as you know, you are not going to give up. Life is not a straight road you may take a big round to get to the destination but no matter what you still reach your goal. Thats the point. And by the fact that he can openly shared the story to someone whom he just get to know for a few mins show that he did not regret the decision he made years ago. This was the best part isn't it ?

I'm sure I would not have to courage like him to quit my course if I was in my third year.

Sometimes people just tell me they want to stop their education and thinking they will earn big bucks. And most often example use is Bill Gates. Cmon, Bill Gates make it to Harvard ok, no matter what. People who success in their career maybe without a good cert, most of them are very talented in what they are doing and most of the time these people have very strong determination ! They've come a long way, its not as easy as you think.

At the same time I do agree that certificate doesn't mean everything. But me and my brother always believe that study and knowledge do make people mature in thinking.

You ask why

2010-09-21T14:00:00.002+08:00

Because love is TOO overrated.

Awesome

2010-09-19T23:50:00.004+08:00

2010-09-10T15:02:00.003+08:00

School holiday are still going on but I feel that I've been letting the days pass me just like that without using it well.
Yes, I feel that my confidence are already draining out.

I envy people who don't give a fuck in everything.
Because nothing matters !

Exactly the same

2010-08-30T23:58:00.002+08:00

So is the truth too hard to be told and the road behind my back are better to walk ?

OH YES ITS ABOUT RETAKING.

2010-08-23T18:21:00.006+08:00

I don't even know why they care so much.
You all just sit there relax and tell me that I'm stupid and crazy or giving me a face like I've just make the most idiotic decision.
You know, seriously, it didn't even concern you. Not a single bit.
If retaking will affect my other grades then well just let me bear the CONSEQUENCE.
Its my result ok, why get so fucked up ?!
And to say the truth, everyone that I've ask for opinions said I should go for it and take a chance.
If I never ask you then guess what ?
I don't fucking need your opinions because they meant nothing to me. NOTHING.

You know what, lets see if Prelim I get higher result than those who make sound when they know I'm retaking. You all just make me want to go an extra mile to achieve something. LOSER.

Happy Birthday Singapore ♥

2010-08-10T16:16:00.008+08:00

Sorry LQ, taken with Iphone.
I'm so proud to be a Singaporean !
And I'm really happy that Singapore get to host the first YOG,
GO SINGAPORE TEAM ~

Town with my Jing Er :D

I WANT THIS AT MY ROOM ! LEE JOON EVERYDAY.
Maybe I can get this on my shop next time ;x Totally awesome.

Shopping was great, got myself 2 top.
I'm really in love with one military vest and studded top from Topshop...
Anyway, firework was wonderful and it really perks me up on that moment.

What its like to be peaceful again ?

2010-08-01T21:52:00.009+08:00

Maybe is time to let go of excuses.
Tried before, its really not as easy as it seem but I'm definitely sick of hearing other people excuses and lies.
I'm willing to try again for me.

I miss the time when I always lay down on the floor and watch the sky, thinking about things. Its simple, always simple and peaceful. I miss the time I was able to get peace around me but it never last long.

Clap.

2010-07-31T13:43:00.003+08:00

FOR JUESSMOND BRO

2010-07-12T20:34:00.007+08:00

I really want to thank Juessmond bro so much !

*Ta-Dah*

Finally got this Pony jacket from Korea ! They even give me 2PM card holder ;D

Wanted so much because of them ;x
Alot of people tell me the jacket is very normal,
whatever, they also got wear can liao >.<

S'pore didn't really sell Pony stuff so I asked Juessmond bro to help me buy from England but he can't find it so he asked his Korea friend for help as the official Korea website state that it can only sent stuff in Korea. In the end his friend asked her family to buy it for me and sent it to S'pore ! So I was really touched ~ and thankful plus a little guilty towards him because of something. And thanks for the 2 DKNY bag which I didn't ask for lol.

Anyway, I didn't do very well for my oral.

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

2010-07-10T22:16:00.003+08:00

" Why did you live ? "
" Because I have something worth living for. "

EPIC.
How I wish Harry Potter will never end ):
Really cried after reading the last book, not exaggerating just a hardcore fan.

The truth is...

2010-07-05T23:05:00.004+08:00

Currently, empty and aimless.
I no longer know if I am moving in the right way...
Sometimes even if I choose not to see certain things, I know they exist. I will still know they are happening. Its true when they say we can't live in a world where we only choose things we want to see.
Its funny when you feel you are totally shattered and unmendable but when you look in the mirror, everything is perfectly fine. Nothing gone missing, no tape all over.
You call this illusion or what ?
Seriously I have no fucking idea about it and trust me the feeling ain't good.
All these thoughts are going nowhere, not out of my mouth but locked up in my mind. So how much can I convince you or anybody with all these ?

Monday through Friday yo

2010-06-18T17:07:00.001+08:00

" Bring the doubters on cause they don't matter at all. "

Trying one of the apps with Jing Er ;D

We was like eating the whole day lol.
Went to watch Killers with her and yes we end up eating in the cinema too hah.

Went M'sia with Ken Ying, she was being a very great host ;D
Had a fun day out with her, when I go back was kind of scare cause first time ma don't know walk which way. Ended up asking people along the way LOL.

Wednesday went out with Mummy, she bought me a Puma bag (:
Actually I wanted to buy another design in black which I wanted long ago but I was really stuck between the 2 choices ): In the end bought the design that I saw that day so I was kind of regret now ! Mum was kind enough to offer buy me both but didn't want to waste her money. I feel like I'm going to die without that bag, I should have choose that right ?! Since I wanted it for so long...*Sighhh

Shopping with Joey at Orchard ;D
Went in to a noodles shop and I saw...
2PM ALL OVER ♥

even saw my name HAHA.
After awhile went to eat slice.

Ended up buying alot of accessories and a top which I like it alot ;x

Still can't escape.

Forever Cool Young Kid

2010-05-27T22:45:00.004+08:00

I'M

BECAUSE

Just reblog the pictures to my tumblr and I can't control myself to do this on my blog. Well, cause I'm too cool hahaha! Oh shit, cool kid don't laugh.
Maybe I'm the exception
OUT.

Once again, time play tricks on me.

2010-05-22T02:13:00.001+08:00

Its a fact that I'm countering O's in months and Chinese in like about a week time but I'm neither afraid nor nervous, I'm just worried about my parents and how they gonna feel.

When things or life gets fucked up, I find myself desperately clutching onto almost everything within my reach. Every little things that bring the slightest bit of secure but at the same time it causes me to not able to tell right from wrong. I lifted one foot to clutch one thing to another and I found myself slipping. It was a mistake but often this is all it takes for us to learn a lesson.

But because I slip and I fall, I learn the hard way and I found myself tougher than I was before. When I fall on the ground, some people walk pass while some other run but I met people who sit on the ground with me and when their words floats around, it all ends up on me whether to stand up or continue grieving.

They always said I'm their smart girl even though I still don't know whats the reason but all I know now is it takes only one paper to crumble this thoughts and the last thing I ever want them to feel for me is disappointment.

Y

2010-05-18T21:24:00.006+08:00

MBLAQ !♥
Really like this song...(:

Mother's Day Celebration

2010-05-15T11:51:00.002+08:00

Went New York New York to celebrate Mother's day (:

Busy eating lol

Super love this ;D

Jing Er ♥ & me
By HUDA :DThis was taken long ago, when we go to Discovery Centre LOL. Anyway, she has really been a great friend this year, never fail to make me laugh whenever I'm feeling low.

ANTI ROTTING

2010-05-03T19:03:00.002+08:00

Cheese Stick
Crayfish Pasta
Banana Boat Sundae (?) Swensen with Ken last week (:

Berri & Summer Sparkle :D

Crunchy Chessy Bites Pizza

Pizza Hut after Physics remedial. People that are present are lol...

Wth, I look fat here ):

Joey bought this for me, thanks :D
After that she came my house to study but we spend time on talking again ! Rofl.

Hi Social Studies, I'll tackle you tonight. Oh, not forgetting my dear Biology.

I'm becoming like this soon because of MYE, lol. I really have no time left to prepare, blame myself for procrastinating. DPA PLEASE ~

MYE CHICKEN FEET, NO SWEAT, ALL THE WAY WEE ~

Without You

2010-04-20T12:21:00.002+08:00

2010-04-18T21:04:00.007+08:00

" Reality becomes a prison to those who can’t get out of it. "
Read a book recently, "Start Where You Are" by Chris Gardner. Know him from the movie, Pursuit Of Happyness, its one of the best movie I ever watched. Anyway its a self-improvement book, I think I will read this genre of book this year. If anyone got good book to recommend, feel free to tell me. Hahs.

Watched Shutter Island with Ken Ying after Speech Day (Happy 30th anniv). Supposed to watch Kick Ass but it was M18 ! Everytime the movie that I wait end up cannot watch -.-

I still can't get used to my new bed ):
2PM new album going to release !(:
LOL.

Sports Day

2010-04-08T21:41:00.009+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLING BLING JONGHYUN ! ♥♥♥♥

I'm like posting this at everywhere, Facebook, Twitter and now blog ;x
The one who always want skinship, hahs ! CUTEEE :D

Meet up with Ken (Ken Ying LOL!) for breakfast before heading to Stadium. We tried the new Cinnamon Melts. Well, not very nice ;x

Went Mac for Double Chocolate after sports day and then Sakae Sushi for lunch.

Don't know where she looking hahs I think I look abit wrong here LOL >.< BEST LOLOL

Anyway we were talking alot of funny stuff when we're eating so it was really fun ;DD
And we played a game, whoever lose have to eat the sushi with wasabi. Ken nv tio !!

Her new position when talking on phone.

Joey came my house to do hw since theres no one when we rch home.

DECOBOT ONCE AGAIN.
This was supposed to be on my previous post, thanks mummy for this Pluto (:

I can't stop Good Love Good Love Good Love,
G.O.O.D LOVE ~

BEAST/B2ST - BIG BANG - 2PM ♥♥

2010-04-06T21:58:00.003+08:00

I find this MV so sweet ;D

Absent

2010-03-29T21:37:00.003+08:00

" There’s so many wars we fought
There’s so many things we’re not
But with what we have
I promise you that
We’re marching on. "

Went Joey hse to do some stuff first before going to Andersen for chocolate fondue (:

Sent my bro off to Brunei for training. Miss him ~ ):

End of holiday

2010-03-21T21:13:00.008+08:00

New song from 2AM, love this song.

Went SSC and slack after that help Jing Er close shop hahs !

Went The Cathay with Shane for Remember Me. One of the worse movie I ever watched.

Ben & Jerry before the movie (:
Watched Alice In The Wonderland 3D with Jing Er today, it was not too bad. Went to Seragoon with my family for dinner, we were gossiping away hahs !

Have to go back school tml, sucky feeling -.-

♥♥ Shin Dong Ho & Song Seung Hyun

Leadja, not yet over.

2010-03-16T19:12:00.006+08:00

Jaebum: "We're riding one car, but our paths are different. We're not in the same place but our hearts are one. When one member hurts, all 11 of us hurt. We're brothers in a competition, but in this war, we're on the same side. Feel it, our energy. Have fun in the day time and listen to a quiet melody in the morning. Look behind you, brothers we got you. Why? Because between us, there's only 12 hours. ONE DAY."

♥ PARK JAEBUM

Common Test

2010-03-10T17:37:00.008+08:00

Nice song, anyway its by 2AM not 2PM.

Last week, Joey came my hse to study.

Went to Xin Wang for some side dish before she go to her cousin house

Basically this few days had been spending my time with Joey at Starbucks to study, maybe more on talking hahs
Today had my first 3 papers. Well, I guess it doesn't go as well as it should be.

" Tough times never last, tough people do. "
- Robert Schuller
So I told myself, just keep going even its blindly walking straight into everything.

My insecurites

2010-03-01T20:31:00.002+08:00

" Maybe she's burdened about my young age
The way you look at me tells me
And I think I'm gonna hate it girl
The coming of the end
Regardless of what others say, your heart will tell you
Noona, you're so pretty
Looking at that girl I go crazy but now I'm tired
Replay, replay, replay "

Thanks Juessmond bro for the Swarovski necklace (:

Starbucks, every once a month please hah

Watched 3 movies last month.
72 tenants of prosperity, Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief & Wolfman.
Basically the first one was shit and the other 2 are not too bad.
Ytd was the last day of CNY went to "song xiao ren" and lo hei again with aunt. Something lucky happened in the way but I bet this kind of luck isn't going to stay with me too long. Finally can open my red packets today.
Been busy with school stuff.
I'm crushing, in every possible way...

CNY

2010-02-17T22:39:00.010+08:00

除夕 :

Pen Cai also known as A Basin of Goodies if I'm not wrong (:

Ate reunion dinner at home first then head to grandma hse for another reunion dinner. Stay there for awhile and head back home. Reached home can't sleep bcos we had to lo hei at 12 am, we were really tired so when we were saying "auspicious wishes" our tone was like cmi LOL. I only keep hear "Huat ar, toto, 4D, simi cai long zhon lai ar."

Thanks Sharon sis for the Pig Rabbit ! ♥

初一 :

Thanks bro for the Levis watch ♥

Went grandma hse to bai nian, collect ang bao, lol. Keep eating non-stop, everybody was like passing those snacks around. Anyway this year my grandparents hse are not so crowded like last time. At night went to God of Wealth Temple.

Next 2 days was basically steamboat and steamboat and still...steamboat. When we eat we will keep say " HUAT AR " lol.

Had been watching Hello Baby - SHINee ♥. Omg, they damn cute can hahas ! The boy they take care of was very adorable. Can't wait for the next ep ;x

Thanks those lovely for these (:

Looking for a balance

2010-02-09T22:51:00.003+08:00

" Since some time, I've become used to treating you badly
Because you were always behind me, you always trusted me
I became foolish
You've become tired and tired, you've become sick of it
I regret it so much even if you hate me like crazy
You already left and you're gone but
Back to you, back to you, back to you. "

Ytd didn't attend school, went to sort of checkup.
After that went Orchard to shop for CNY shirt (:
Went Far East, found one top wich I really like it alot but thats was the last piece so didn't bought it D:
Ended up in Somerset 313, Forever 21. Bought one knit top, mad chio ! Lol ;x
Mummy decided to help bro anyhow buy 1 CNY shirt cause he didn't have the time to buy himself. Bought a Zara top for him, I super love his top can :/

$100 for 156 Jelly ! For CNY, HUAT AR ~
Anyway I cried becos of this as in not in a happy state.

Last Week :

Went cycle with Joey. Great day.

She came my hse the day when I didn't go school, playin Scramble 2 hahs.

K Craze

2010-01-31T22:01:00.013+08:00

Friday went IMM to see my FT Island with Xuan Hui.
Only get to see them walk down the escalator lor, after they get up the stage like only can see the head somemore very far ! So stand there like 15 mins then we go for Ajisen le ): My Hongki oppa ~ LOL.

♥♥
Today went Lot 1 to see SHINee with Joey. When we reached, theres alot of ppl sit infront of a TV because it showed the stage but damn lame right ? We go because we want see SHINee real person for what see from the TV we can do that at hm by using Youtube, clearer somemore. Saw Lynette and she told me theres no space in Lvl 5 already, can't even go up.

We went up to Lvl 4 then stuck liao everybody like jam at the escalator. We stand there like don't know how long so we kind of like give up and went MOF for dessert.

Eat till halfway heard many people scream, I faster chiong out then in the end also nothing.

After eating, went back to the escalator then we found out no more security guard and can go to Lvl 5 liao but many people say SHINee go already. We walk till the stage there really gone liao sia, then the workers sibei kp lor keep at there shout " Tell you all SHINee go already, now see the stage no people, faster move to the exist ! " CB RIGHT ? Cmon la we wait so long we can't even see their face, we also will disappointed de lor. Then Joey keep say we wait so long, see their ass also happy LOL.

The empty stage
Trained to Wdl and meet Jia Xin for Math.
Thanks Xin Huan for the birthday present <3

Last Week :

Went Gelare with Joey.

The way you see

2010-01-24T21:05:00.009+08:00

Ytd went out with Joey to Novena Starbucks. Was supposed to do our chinese hw but we end up chilling and chatting away, hahs.

After that, we went Dhoby Ghaut to take something and trained to town.
Ate our lunch at Shokudo.

Bought things from Fourskin and Cotton On. On my previous post before school reopen I wrote that I didn't bought my school bag cos OOS, went to the shop again ytd and saw another bag which I quite like it but I couldn't make up my mind. Asked my bro today morning and he said I should buy the one I saw ytd. Very pek cek now can cause had to go back again and buy. Anyway I finally bought my school shoes and another pair of shoes which I like it alot, lol.

Meet up with Jia Xin today, she tutor me Math. Pro right her LOL.
She bought a big and soft Tigger and for some reason he is name as Scarlet. Poor thing, I hope Xin Huan can take good care of him HAH.

Wtf, its monday tml.

IPHONE 3GS & Great Song

2010-01-17T17:28:00.005+08:00

Say hi to my new baby,

Have you lost your way ?
Livin' in the shadow of the messes that you made
And so it goes
Everything inside your circle starts to overflow
Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You'll get back what you give away
So don't look back on yesterday

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath

You feel the weight
Of lies and contradictions that you live with every day
It's not too late
Think of what can be if you rewrite the role you play
Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You give back what you give away
So don't look back on yesterday

Before you break you have to share your armor
Take a trip and fall into the glitter
Tell a stranger that they're beautiful
So all you feel is love, love
All you feel is love, love

2010-01-15T11:48:00.005+08:00

Sick so didn't went to school ytd and today.
Don't feel like going for CIP tml but no choice, I'm really not good at telling people to donate money or buy sweets & stuff.
I go through the same routine every day after school ever since school started, shower, eat and homework. Shall update another time, feel like sleeping now.

This song is really addicting.
♥ 2PM

2nd Day

2010-01-05T19:36:00.006+08:00

Just the second day and I already feel so drained out.
The hours after my first day of school was spent away with Math homework which is killing me because I seriously sucks at Math since I was in primary school and I think I can't get away with it like last year.

Surprisingly, I actually look forward to Biology lesson. The way Mdm. Low(?) talk was very funny and she didn't use any special way to conduct lesson but I'm like so enthu to learn from her unlike Mr.Pek lesson ;x And I actually like the new principal, Mr.Wong (: Hes cute and I can feel that he really want to build up our school's reputation which is GOOD.

And seriously, can all the teacher stop talking how different is N and O lvl ? Its annoying and VERY discouraging. *sigh I know they mean well but to hear it from different kind of teacher at different lesson is really...sick.

Can't turn this around